How cool things seemed in 1970! As a rebellious teenager who had trouble complying with her strict parents, curfews were frequently broken. There was a new boyfriend who entered the picture my senior year who introduced me to alcohol. It escalated my rebellion, as my “little white lies” and “fibs” seemed to become more frequent to avoid my parents’ detection of my drinking and dating this forbidden older guy. But, they were just a “little lies”. I thought they wouldn’t hurt anyone.
I continued to believe things like, “He loves me, and he wants to marry me.” Within months, I went off to college, but soon realized that I was pregnant. No more fun and games. Panic and crisis immediately hit, and I couldn’t tell anyone. All the little white lies that seemed so trivial became much bigger and major lies. My boyfriend’s mother suggested abortion. I stood in a hot shower at the end of the dorm hall with even hotter tears pouring down my cheeks. I couldn’t bear the thought of this child inside me losing his life. It couldn’t happen. But, what will I do?
The big confrontation between my parents, the boyfriend and me came all too quickly. Shame, guilt, anger, hurt, disappointment, pain…the range of emotions cried 
and shouted between us went on and on that night. My parents were devastated. But, over the next few weeks, a decision was made for me. It wasn’t to be my decision after all. Out of my family’s love for me, an abortion was determined to be in my best interest for my future. Emotional numbing was the only way I could handle this. I went from being a giddy college freshman to utter brokenness in just two short months. For 17 years, all I’d ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother. Afterward, I stumbled around, trying to put the pieces together to figure out how this had happened. Then, for three and a half decades, I dealt with the abortion in ways I try not to remember, including a divorce.
Thirty-five years later, I participated in the first post-abortive bible study offered at Long Hollow Baptist Church. Through a caring ,compassionate leader guiding me and other women, I began to feel Christ’s total forgiveness and healing. The emotional numbing that began years ago in darkness was gently exposed to the healing light and love of Christ! Praise Him!
If you are a post-abortive woman or man or have assisted someone with an abortion, I pray that you will have the courage to come join us as we take the next healing journey with Surrendering the Secret bible study. The next study will be held at Life Works Counseling Center in Gallatin beginning on June 11th at 6:00 PM and continue for 8 weeks. The class is DVD-driven and lasts for approximately 2 hours each Monday night.
Don’t stay stuck in that year that you made a decision to abort or someone else made it for you! Let Christ set you free!
“The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” John 10:10
Ellen Philpot
Ellen, thank you for your vulnerability and honesty in your journey. It will touch the lives of so many others.
Chris,
One of my deepest yearnings in this life is for others to feel the peace and restoration only Christ can bring.
Revelation 12:11a
They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.
Good post Ellen. Thank you for sharing.